The Accountant’s Creed

This is my spreadsheet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My spreadsheet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My spreadsheet, without me, is useless. Without my spreadsheet, I am useless. I must format my spreadsheet true. I must calculate better than IT who is trying to kill me. I must save before Excel force quits me. I will...

My spreadsheet and I know that what counts in this war are not the cells we formulate, the income we report, nor the graphs we make. We know that it is the reconciliations that count. We will reconcile...

My spreadsheet is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its rows and its columns. I will ever guard it against the ravages of IT and Sales as I will ever guard my mouse, my keyboard, my calculator and my heart against damage. I will keep my spreadsheet clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before the CFO, I swear this creed. My spreadsheet and myself are the defenders of my General Ledger. We are the masters of our department. We are the saviors of my budget. So be it, until victory is Accounting’s and there is no IT, but peace!